Morning drive to work

I got mad at my husband on the way to work today. Super mad. Flaming mad. I wanted to punch him right in the face mad. He didn't even really do anything. I think that's why I got so mad. I realized he was just being his normal self and that the way he was acting is his normal self just put me over the edge. If you knew my husband this might make more sense, but to give you an idea, he just has a really bad temper. It's not that he hits me or anything, but this temper just makes him really unpleasant to be around and I generally don't say what I want to say because I don't want to listen to him have a hissy fit.

For instance, we live a few miles down a dirt road. It rained all night. The road was mushy and kind of dangerous. Well, for some reason, he thought that he needed to drive the normal speed of 40 mph on the way to work this morning. After about the fifth time of almost careening off the road into the tree-lined ditch, I said "You might want to slow down". I thought it was obvious, but apparently someone needed to tell him. I knew it would make him mad, but it's MY car and MY healthy body which I would like to maintain. "You might want to sit over there and shut your mouth." "Well, I will if you would improve your driving." "Are we in the ditch, are we in the ditch?" "Just because we're not in the ditch doesn't mean that you're driving well." "Well, it damn sure means I'm still on the road." Oh, okay, I guess you can drive however you want as long as you're still on the road. And this is typically how our arguments go.

The second argument of the not all that long drive to work was when he almost hit a pedestrian. In the town where we live, pedestrians have the right of way at all times. So, we're driving across campus and this guy who is walking to class goes bee-bopping across the road. He doesn't plan to stop and neither does my husband. Let's call my husband "J". We almost hit the guy and J says "Get out of the G**D*** road, Asshole!" I'm not trying to start a fight (even though I know it will), but I say "Actually he had the right of way". "I know that, but would you just walk out in the street without looking?" "He saw you he just figured you would stop like you're supposed to". "Boy, you aren't happy unless you're bitching, are you?" "It just annoys me how you can't admit you were wrong. You were wrong, but you want to blame it on him". "Why do you care?" "Because I have to listen to you and I get tired of hearing you act like a psycho. It's not real pleasant to be around". "Oh, yeah, you're so fun". And so on and so forth.

Then when he drops me off at work he says "Have a good day" and gives me a kiss. Oh, I'm sure my day is going to be GREAT when it starts off like this. I didn't feel like letting him give me a kiss but I didn't feel like hearing his mouth again, either.

He's a good friend, but I'm starting to wonder about my choice to marry him two years ago. Sometimes I wish we were just roommates. Sometimes we are.